Is it true that some kids have neurological conditions that make it far more difficult for them to remain calm and self-controlled? You bet.
Is it also true that there are many things within our control…with all types of children…that can up the odds that they will behave in ways that avoid their placement on our last nerve?
Are you a parent who errs on the side of assuming that your child can't help being out of control? Or are you one who assumes that with the right type of love, limits, structure, training, and expectations, they can usually remain fun to be around?
Listed below is a laundry list of some old-fashioned yet powerful strategies:
Sleep
Unlike adults, many children get hyper when they're tired.
Downtime
Too many activities create stressed families. Stressed families create kids who act out to relieve their stress.
Limits
When kids lack solid limits, they tend to act out to get them. Be sure to set limits by describing what you are willing to do or allow…rather than telling them how they should act. An example:
You are welcome to stay in the same room with us as long as
your voice is quiet and you aren't running around.
Predictable routines
Kids thrive when these and other routines are more or less routine: Getting ready each morning, dinnertime, bedtime, family reading time, homework time, playtime, etc.
Practice
Some parents experiment with "sitting practice." They have fun with their child and challenge them to remain seated and quiet for a small amount of time. They set the timer and make a big deal out of their child meeting a specific goal. They gradually increase the goal as time goes by.
Good food
Junk food tends to create junky behavior.
Exercise
Exercise calms the brain. My mother must have known this when she'd say, “Oh…looks like you need to run around the yard and burn off some of that steam."
Any reluctance to do as she asked, automatically created a long list of chores that served as another form of exercise.
Very limited screen time
The more kids interact with screens the more difficulty they have with self-regulation.
A good marriage
Kids tend to act out any anxiety or tension present in the home.
Listen to my audio, Keeping Cool When Parenting Heats Up, to help get back to the basics and enjoy calmer, happier kids.
Is it also true that there are many things within our control…with all types of children…that can up the odds that they will behave in ways that avoid their placement on our last nerve?
Are you a parent who errs on the side of assuming that your child can't help being out of control? Or are you one who assumes that with the right type of love, limits, structure, training, and expectations, they can usually remain fun to be around?
Listed below is a laundry list of some old-fashioned yet powerful strategies:
Sleep
Unlike adults, many children get hyper when they're tired.
Downtime
Too many activities create stressed families. Stressed families create kids who act out to relieve their stress.
Limits
When kids lack solid limits, they tend to act out to get them. Be sure to set limits by describing what you are willing to do or allow…rather than telling them how they should act. An example:
You are welcome to stay in the same room with us as long as
your voice is quiet and you aren't running around.
Predictable routines
Kids thrive when these and other routines are more or less routine: Getting ready each morning, dinnertime, bedtime, family reading time, homework time, playtime, etc.
Practice
Some parents experiment with "sitting practice." They have fun with their child and challenge them to remain seated and quiet for a small amount of time. They set the timer and make a big deal out of their child meeting a specific goal. They gradually increase the goal as time goes by.
Good food
Junk food tends to create junky behavior.
Exercise
Exercise calms the brain. My mother must have known this when she'd say, “Oh…looks like you need to run around the yard and burn off some of that steam."
Any reluctance to do as she asked, automatically created a long list of chores that served as another form of exercise.
Very limited screen time
The more kids interact with screens the more difficulty they have with self-regulation.
A good marriage
Kids tend to act out any anxiety or tension present in the home.
Listen to my audio, Keeping Cool When Parenting Heats Up, to help get back to the basics and enjoy calmer, happier kids.
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